john b. flushing

Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category

12:37PM

I woke up this morning around 10 and have been unpacking. Trying to get settled in by seeing what I have to eat and drink around here and getting my shit put away. I finished Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell last night. It was a quick read and pretty funny. It’s another case of Jackass where those who read will say…”why didn’t I think of that”. Being the first isn’t always the worst. I have been catching up on emails and I’m about to go hit subway it looks like. Not sure what my plans are for later. Going to holler at a couple friends and see what’s up for this evening. Probably going to go downtown and watch the display the city puts on. It was good last year.

7:30PM

I had a few errands to run today so I stopped by Home Depot to get some keys cut that I got recently with sports teams on them. My brother is really proud of one of the ones I picked out as it features his arch rival on it. I love it! But, I also follow that team. I can’t exactly follow his team because I think you have to stay in the top25 to get a shot at TV outside of your viewing area. (I actually follow his team as well…but the fact that I root for this team gets under his skin at times and really makes me laugh and keep being a little brother on tha fo’shizzle.)

As I was leaving Home Depot I drove by a Taco Bell where I stopped at the light to see that one of the workers was out behind the brick barrier they keep the dumpster in with both hands positioned as if she was holding up the back side wall. Her hed was positioned downward and she was spewing like a fire hydrant when the city comes around to open them up. I sat there at the light which had turned green and was staring at her and laughing. The car behind me blew their horn and the girl looks up and runs back towards the door at Taco Bell wiping her mouth the entire way. Funny stuff. Going to work with a hangover sucks…especially when you’re working with food like that as I would imagine!

Went to eat with my Grandmother and Uncle Sidney this evening as well. Sidney typically acts like he has some kind of autistic disorder and/or is blind when we’re at the dinner table in public and makes the wait staff a bit unsure about his sanity and/or well being. Tonight was no different. Out server was very sweet and attractive and very accommodating. Sidney goes on to play one of his characters, but also flatters the young lady and keeps the banter in full speed at the table when she is present. Turns out she is also a 1st grade teacher and is used to dealing with people like Sidney. What a sport. She was one of the better servers and more personable ones we’ve dealt with on our dinners we have together about every 7-10 days. She invited us back to see her and we’ll do that!

I got home and watched the movie Still Standing. It was Ok i suppose, I was expecting a little more, but oh well. At least there were some breastisists in it.

Til tomorrow!

JBF

I just got back from a 9 day vacation. It was so nice to get out of the office for a long time and go somewhere to get away from the city cubescent life I’ve grown accustom to. It rained most of the time on my trip but I still managed to get out and do a few things. I arrived to my destination on Monday where I was picked up at the airport and taken straight to Whataburger. It was delicious. The Bacon and Cheese Whataburger is the way to go. You can’t get a Whataburger just anywhere! Awesome! I miss those and need one from time to time.

As soon as I got to the house the dog came running at me as soon as I walked through the door. She  attacked me without biting me. I was glad to see her. After dropping my bags off where I was staying I went out and took a look at the changes the place had undergone since I last saw it. This place was home to me at a point in my life. It was a horse ranch I lived on while finishing up some college. The area had seen lots of rain lately and saw even more while I was there. I was able to take the four-wheeler out in the rain and quickly realized how flooded the area had become. I rode through what I thought was about 2 feet of water..turned out to be about 3.5-4 feet of rushing water and was over the seat of the ATV. It didn’t stall so I was in pretty good shape. I gunned it just before going through it.

I spent about 4 hours with a carving club my Dad is a part of on Wednesday. The group is made up of retired professionals who are giving their creative sides a shot. They were entertaining to listen too. I was glad to know you’re never too old to bullshit friends. These guys were nice…but full of shit…and they knew it. Very Entertaining. They gave me a piece of aspen to carve on and a knife. It was suppose to be an angel, but looked more like a boxer with his gloves above his head. I call it Ali.

I did some running around with the folks while I was there and did a Lowes run with them and went out to eat and stuff like that. My dad smoked a 9 lbs. pork butt for pull BBQ while I was home, grilled some great rib-eyes, grilled chicken breasts and usually did a ranch style breakfast about every 2-3 days.

This place was out in the middle of nowhere and I didn’t really have to go into town for much of anything. It was nice. I went into town one night so I could pick up some nightcrawlers and some hooks. I rarely get the opportunity to go fishing here so I wanted to do a ton of that while I was home. Unfortunately the first opportunity I got was Sunday morning. I got up early and went down to one of the ponds on the ranch and caught about a half dozen or so in the 3 hours I was out there. My brother came home that afternoon to visit and he and I plumped our fat asses in a boat that was there and paddled out so that we could fish from the middle and cast all over the pond and we reeled in about 15 fish I think. 22 or so in one day wasn’t bad . We didn’t count the ones we didn’t actually unhook. He had a 5-6lbs. bass get away and I lost a catfish that was that size or greater….big ugly sucker. I think the hook actually ripped out while we were looking for something to grab it with. I had been catching bass and bluegill all day and wasn’t about to stick my hand in a cat’s mouth. It didn’t count either. But the huge bass on Sunday counted….we measured it by beer cans and figured it was a 3 can fish.

I out fished my brother in quantity, but not quality….although the bass and almost catfish were huge.

I flew home today on two delayed flights. My first flight I was in the front seat and it was great…lots of room etc. My second flight was great once we took off. We were delayed about 2 hours. I was seated up front once again, but had company this time. A little girl flying by herself. she was nice and talkative. Although it was her first time flying alone…she handled it pretty well. I think the turbulence got her a time or two, but I was nice to her and it probably made her flight easier.

Across the aisle were two women traveling together. They had back scratching sessions where they would take turns scratching each others backs. The older one kicked her shoes off and really enjoyed the scratching…the little girl next to me just kind of shrugged and laughed and then we both pretended not to see the sight when she got up. Her elongated crack accented by the whale tale. The older hefty one flashed a thong at us! Not intentionally! The little girl was great…and was better than I would have been at her age…or even my age. It took alot, but I held back on this one.

I’m going to back up here for a second. We finally get on the plane after a good 30 minute delay. Then, the lightning causes the airport to shut the ramp down for another hour. At this time one of the flight attendants says to a young boy (12ish) who has the flying alone badge around his neck sitting up in first class that she’s getting off the plane and not flying. He immediately throws his hands up”what do you think you’re doing?! A little rain and lightening and suddenly you decide you’re not working?!” She comes back and says that she’s flying tomorrow too and didn’t want to fly all night tonight too or something….he’s quite irritated.. those within earshot are laughing. Flight attendant rolls her eyes and exits plane.

The other flight attendant is pissed because her 1st class helper bailed on her….she was a bitch the whole flight. Don’t know what she put in the kid’s drink, but shortly after takeoff he was out. I was sorry she didn’t give something to knock out the tweekster who was bouncing all over the first class area. I couldn’t decide he was with the woman sitting next to him. No one should have to try as hard as this guy if she was with him. I arrived two hours late and was picked up by Uncle Sidney. He greeted me outside baggage claim by the car shouting my name wearing a cowboy hat and waving real big. It was pretty funny…everyone was looking at him. (he doesn’t normally ever wear a cowboy hat…in fact…he may have gotten it for this occasion).

Well I’m now back in town and enjoyed my break. I read 2 books while I was gone and now I’m ready for my last day off (July 4) and then it’s back to OfficeMan.

See you Thursday!

~The Flush~

P.S. Thanks to my apartment maintenance man for fixing almost everything on the punch list I created before I left.

P.S.S. I really appreciate you leaving on all the bathroom fans and the brightest f*cking lights in my apartment for a week too. (At least he looked the door when he left)