john b. flushing

Today I took a break from working and the Michael Jackson coverage to meet my grandparents for lunch at their assisted living home. I’m reminded every time I eat with them why I usually don’t go for meals. I realize I’m going to get old and probably be in the same boat someday, but by that time I hope I’m not aware of anything around me and it really won’t matter.

I’m not going to do into much detail other than to say how disgusting most of the grunting and hacking is while you’re eating. My grandmother doesn’t really talk unless you speak to her first and then all you’re likely to get is a monosyllabic answer. My grandmother suffers from dementia and the Alzheimer’s is probably a day or two away. My grandfather is 92, sharp as a razor, but blind as a bat from his macular degeneration. At the end of the meal he said…”watch your grandmother, she’ll take an hour to eat some meat and vegetables, but that desert will be gone in 2 minutes…he was right.”.

Once we got up stairs to their apartment, we were sitting in the living room and my grandmother immediately fell asleep. After about 10 minutes she rips out the biggest fart and opens one eye and looks at me without any expression. I said “why thank you!” She replied with “huh.” My grandfather laughed and explained “all these old women around here always fart after they’ve settled in to a chair or relax. There is a lady that sputters past every morning when she gets up from the table at breakfast, I guess we should call it breakwindfast. (then he laughs and repeats it…I said we should call it breakwindfast!) My grandmother cut the cheese several more times while I was there and would die if she was aware of what she was doing. IN her day she never would have been caught picking her teeth at the table, or spitting out food she doesn’t care for in the plant next to the dinner table. She’s still the love of my granddad’s life and a beautiful woman. I’m glad I live close enough and make the time to go out for a visit when I can. Mentally my grandfather hasn’t lost a thing, even at 92. We talked about Michael Jackson”s death and the break dance contests the grand kids would put on for the family at their house over the holidays when we were little.

I’m not convinced my grandmother really knows who I am when I visit, but my granddad is always up to date with the economy, his investments, and current events. They are approaching their 70th anniversary! I’m afraid he has set the bar too high for the rest of us in the family.

Topping off the farting and other random comments during my visit, as I got up to leave, my grandfather said “look at your grandson, isn’t he a big boy?” My grandmother looked up at me and her eyes got big as she nodded her head and she answered, “FAT.” Thanks gramma!