john b. flushing

The plaid pants adventures took place last weekend after my fiance and I had attended a Saturday afternoon  wedding and then spent the latter part of the day shopping for a blazer for me and then stopping by a national department store to begin the registry process for our own wedding coming up in June.

I found a blazer in about 15 minutes, then my fiance decided she would go on downstairs and start looking at china, flatware, etc. while I checked out some other stuff in men’s clothing. I looked for a few minutes and then found the raddest pair of plaid pants I’d seen in years. I tried them on, paid for them and was happy as  could be …until I got downstairs.

I was immediately met with resistance…”what the…(grabs the receipt out of my hand)..you spent $70 on a pair of pants that looked like they fell out of your grandfathers attic?” Then the lady from the store asks if we’re finding everything alright, when my fiance responds ” we haven’t even started on this yet…I’m yelling at him about some ugly plaid pants he just bought.”

I’m sure we were a real joy to deal with. I agreed on all the flatwear and china and decided that taking her to dinner would be the wise thing to do. We left the store and I decided to call my sister and see if she’d like to meet us for dinner (meanwhile, fiance is on the phone with her mother in the passenger seat) when a car cuts me off to get in the turn lane, then goes straight on through the stop light instead of turning. She’s on the phone with her mother still, I’m yelling out  “you dumb motherf*cker” to the idiot who just cut me off then barged on through traffic. Now i’m getting yelled at  for yelling obscenities while  also trying to leave a voice mail for my sister.  I’m sure that all of this is because of the “plaid pants” I had just purchased.

My sister calls me back and lets me know she and her dude are meeting us for dinner and then we argue all the way to the restaurant (for 15 minutes) over how awesome I think the pants are and how much she absolutely hates them.  I’m quickly losing this battle. (…to be continued)